Expanding.....everything that you mentioned in your post is totally normal and EXPECTED, at this time (5mo.)......
Have you ever talked to someone who has lost a husband or wife to death?
If you did, you would find that they miss all the same things that you do.
It is the little things...the inside jokes...it is the knowing each other's life so well that they automatically "know " what you are talking about. (you don't have to explain every damn thing to them)....
Sharing of all the familiar things. Lots of different things ae m issed, but these things seem to be the most.
For those who lose a spouse through death....they go through, roughly, a calendar year of this acute phase of adjustment.....
This mean that you have seven more months of these kinds of NORMAL feelings.
With my husband that passed...I had made most of the "house" kinds of plans and decisions....like--when to do some landscaping, putting in a dog door, making a Christmas shopping list, etc. But, it felt right when I had passed everything in front of him and he said "I think that is a good idea".
Especially, when he reminded me that my rude half sisters were as crazy as Homer Simpson's sisters-in-law....lol...
YES...YES..your healing clock has been going for 5 months. What you are experiencing IS grieving! You are smack in the middle of it.
***The first step of healing is grieving. So, grieving and healing are occurring simultaneously! It is happening, right this minute.
Now, it is true that the more often that you have contact...the longer it is drawn out. The fastest way through it is to go completely no contact...but, you say that this isn't possible due to the house, right now....
I wish that you belonged to a grieving group. You can find them everywhere, these days. It has become more common for those who have broken up a relationship to attend a grieving group....it is no longer considered just for those who have suffered a death of a partner...
***for those who are single...I have found that close girlfriends (and sometimes, platonic male friends) serve the same purpose that an intimate partner can...for the familiar things of daily living....
They are the ones that you share the little things with....
Why don't you visit a nursing home or a senior living community and interview some of the residents who have lost partners".....They LOVE to share the details..and they have more compassion than you would think (even if they are over 60!).....
You ask if you would be avoiding the feelings.....it is not POSSIBLE to avoid the feelings. You are going to feel...no matter what you do.
There is no "around it"...it is only through it.
This is LIFE....
dandylion