Agree with Anvillhead, who is always a reasonable voice. Substance abusers have a way of making their unacceptable behavior seem normal. If you had confronted him about his late arrival, he prob would have said, "well, at least I made it here." Cuz in his mind he is doing the right thing, visiting his sister. Or, "I don't need this noise. I'm outta here!" But would have waited for you to tell him it was okay, he could stay. That way it's on you, not him. Addicts and alcoholics are really, really manipulative. Just sayin'. Good luck. Peace.