Yes your post resonates with me as well. I can remember trying to control the whens, wheres, and how much so often. I changed from red wine to white wine ( lower alcohol levels), to liquor ( because then I could control the amount of alcohol to aw say one shot, haha....always ended up with 3 shots in each, ooopsie how did THAT happen??? Anyways, that whole control game was frankly exhausting as hell!
I finally figured out if I was expending all this energy trying to control this thing, I MUST have a problem, right? I mean social drinkers and even moderate drinkers dont use any brain power on alcohol.
I experienced all of the same symptoms you refer to as well. For me I think it was a mixture of chemical/neurological imbalances as well as my sugar dropping out on me and a whole host of other physiological changes. Im not sure about your physical situation but its always a good idea to seek medical advice because we are all individuals and respond differently.
So what happened for me is I had this brief ( and I do mean BRIEF) moment of clarity where I thought to myself....if you were suffering these consequences from say eating bananas, would you keep eating them? Well Duh, I said to myself, no you wouldnt! Stop eating the Bananas! Stop drinking the alcohol!!!
Anyways, best of luck to you and blessings to you as well!
Im glad you are here asking questions, thats a fantastic start!