Hey 2stop, so much of what you said I can relate to. It's almost as if I wrote it. I suffer from chronic fatigue and weakness and pain-everywhere. For about 8 years now.
I have disc degeneration in my back, myalgia everywhere-my face-from my teeth into my cheeks and jaw, shooting pain down my fingers, hands-headaches, pain in my muscles, joints,
chronic infections that my doctors can't seem to get rid of. As well as having severe depression, anxiety and other mental health problems.
On and bloody on. I don't have children and looking after children when in this state, well, frankly I can't imagine it. But, I couldn't imagine living like this years ago either. What you said about "I believe "I" can make any situation better...except for my health, and my panic attacks, and the physical pain."
I'm right with you there.
I've considered that I may have to go on a
low dose opiate pill some day. But I really don't want to have to do that. I was (am) an opiate addict, so that complicates things.I've had my fill of addiction and withdrawal. So it's a real conundrum.
Right now all I'm taking is extra strength tylenol-sometimes naproxen-they do next to nothing of course. And music. When I feel l can't take one more thing, I listen to music. And candlelit epsom salt baths. With a bath pillow and ear plugs. And if I can focus, a book. That really helps the muscle and joint pain and anxiety.
Everyday is a battle. Every. Single. Freaking. Day.
But there is always hope. After my rant, I realize that may sound incongruous.
Is there some way you could take some of the stress out of your situation? In a weakened state, a person just can't handle as much constant stress. Sounds like you are doing a lot of things for your pain. Just wanted to let you know I feel for you. Take care.
Sincerely, Cate.