How about seeing an addiction therapist or counselor in lieu of a sponsor? I just don't really get the sponsor thing. I think it would be much more helpful to talk with a professional rather than having to play junior high games with a person who doesn't even have a counseling degree. No offense to sponsors or AA, but it seems like it becomes way too personal. You shouldn't have to be concerned about pleasing a sponsor or worrying whether they're judging you.