If you read the sticky at the top of this forum that is " excerpts from "Under the Influence"" you may gain some valuable insight that might help answer some of your questions and give you some direction on where you might need to go forward.
Only you can figure out where you lie on the alcoholic spectrum. It could just be you are a heavy drinker. And that things are reversible to a state you want. However you will find that all of us who stick around here have been there done that, and know that alcoholism is a progressive disease and once you cross that invisible line there's a good chance there's no going back to normal levels.
I used to drink much like you and for many years before I experienced withdrawal, as in heavy withdrawal from heavy drinking. I first came to sr with a very similar post and was quite irked with the answers I got and went away and proceeded to drink myself into oblivion and hell for two years following.
Withdrawal and high tolerance are big signs of dependency in this area. It's all downhill from there if you continue to want to drink the way you used to.
Moderation chasing for someone who is walking the alcoholic path is like the donkey following the carrot dangling on a stick. It's tiring, draining, all consuming and not even worth it.
My very caring advice from someone who was once you at that age and progressed to much worse even though things still seemed manageable for a long time... do what you can to halt it now. It's not going to get better. I wish I had taken my head out of my rear and listened to the folks here when I first came here. I did myself and my family a world of hurt by putting drink above the rest. Maybe it's time to look at your priorities and do some reading around the site?
Please. Don't end up like me. Stop before stopping seems impossible.
