Filing for divorce, part 5
I'm getting very frustrated and this is all wearing me down so much.
In the last couple weeks I took a break from the custody/spousal support petition to allow my AH time to find a more permanent living situation and have a better idea what his expenses will be. He has only been looking on Craigslist in our neighborhood, one that he can't afford so of course he hasn't gotten any further.
I finally got tired of it and asked my lawyer to submit the petition to him as is. The day before she did that I let him stay at our apartment for the day while i was at work because his back went out, he took the day off work and I didn't have a problem with him resting there. I come home with our daughter to signs that he may have been drinking. Come to find out he drank whiskey. OF COURSE he claims that was the first time he's had a drop of alcohol since I filed for divorce a month and a half ago. Amazing how the times when I find out are the only times it happens!
The next day he tells me he's consulted with a lawyer and that he was told there was no way that I'd get sole custody, even in our situation. I can only guess he did not tell the lawyer the full story. He also starts in on how half our car is his, he can't afford to live anywhere, this is his home he contributed to and what makes the most sense is him moving back in so we can save money.
He's just a broken record. I am flat out telling him it's not going to happen, this divorce is going through, the marriage is over. But he keeps suggesting he just move back in. It's driving me crazy. Actually, it's just making me mad and sad. I am trying so very hard to keep things amicable for our daughter, to not put her through a bad situation. I feel like I'm giving him as much as I can and all he wants to focus on is how he doesn't want this and he should be home. He's a sad puppy dog when he's around and it's just unfair. Unfair to me because I have to be there for supervised visits and unfair to her that he's allowing this to color their time together.
My family is pushing me to take the gloves off and get serious, not to allow him over as much as he is, change the locks on the apartment, stop communicating unless it's necessary and to just split it all 50/50 right now and be done with it. And while I'd like to have the custody and financial stuff done, all I can think of is my daughter and how I don't want us to have a contentious relationship for her sake. I am standing my ground on sole custody and I will take him to court if he refuses to sign soon, but the rest of it is too hard for me to push him on.
He's not angry, he's not drunk around me...except the other day...claims he's doing his program which means nothing to me as much as I hope it will someday. He's just refusing to accept it and make plans for himself. And it's just wearing me down.
I finally got a therapist who I think will be a great help for me. But I just don't have much more fight in me beyond standing my ground on the decisions I've already made.
Thanks for listening.