how to move on
hi, i am new to the message board. i signed up because of my recent situation. in november of 2004 i was arrested for my 3rd dui. i went to a very prestigious pyschiatrist (i had stuggled w/ depression for 10 years). i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, add, substance abuse, and bulimia. i began taking medication and became sober. i attend aa meetings, although not as frequently as i should.
in july i was found guilty of my 3rd dui. with this conviction i lost my license, have to continue treatment w/ my psychiatrist and counselor as well as maintain sobriety. the most difficult of all was that i lost my teaching position at a public school. my job was the one thing that I had pride in myself. i was very good at my job and this situation had no affect on my job other than time off for psychiatric appointments which had been arranged w/ approval of my principal.
i don't know where to go from here. i have a master's degree in counseling and i'm applying or jobs. i have hit the bottom and i am sometimes contemplating suicide, although the pain that i would cause my family keeps me from acting on it.
everyone tells me that things will get better, but they really don't know the humilation and pain i am going through.
i don't know how to continue and i don't know how i will move on. i feel like at 29 i have completely screwed up my life and although i have made incredible changes, it was too little too late.
on a friend's advice i am reaching out to talk to professionals and those who may share my experience.
please help. i have truly hit bottom.