Higher Power Hide and Seek
I am still, 97 days into recovery stuck at step one. Where do I find this higher power?
1. The fellowship: It is nor really working for me. Listening to the same ostensibly funny stories of the same people sharing their experiences from their drunk days is not all that uplifting.
2. Science: As is evident from my SR name I am a great admirer of Charles Darwin and the theory of natural selection. Likewise Isaac Newton and Lawrence Krauss. But I do not think the third law of thermo-dynamics will become my higher power.
3. The Universe: This is a real possibility. There is so much of it, it keeps expanding and one day it will implode on itself and disappear. Striking thought. Yet, I am also part of this universe, I was stardust before I was born, still am and will be after my death. I can not be my own higher power. That is illogical.
4. My Ancestors: I live in Africa. Ancestors are worshipped with love and respect. I can relate to that. My late grandmother was the best person I have ever known and will ever know. Perhaps she can be my higher power.
The search continues. At least I have no desire to drink. If I remain like the proverbial lab rat rotating in step one for the rest I my life it will be fine as long as that continuum is sobriety.