I think you need a bigger better and more detailed plan Arp.
'I could' was the old me way of thinking - it was the man-child, pretty much unchanged from when I first started getting high/drunk at 15.
Recovery bought adulthood for me.
I worked hard, found a whole new range of options besides drinking, made massive changes to life and the way I relaxed and solved problems, and discovered a new respect for myself and my body and mind.
Suddenly 'I could' became 'why would I'?
I dunno - do you think you've made enough changes to change yet, Arp?
D