Now that I have started I don't want to write anything because I don't want to think about this
Too late. There is no turning back. Eventually, most of us have to accept how things are because it gets so bad we can't hide it from ourselves anymore - let alone anyone else.
But if it is excessive and if there is nothing I can do to help him, then all I can do is either accept things as they are or leave him.
This is exactly right - it took me SO LONG to accept this one simple fact!
Right now I guess I'll just accept things as they are, since the impact on me personally is not too serious. There is the cost of alcohol issue of course but I'd be worse off financially if we broke up. Besides I love him and my main concern is for his own health and well being
This is a stage we've ALL been in.
Getting to online or in person Alanon meetings, getting a hold of some books (check out the book list in the stickies), post and reading in here, learn everything you can about alcoholism, and or getting yourself some counseling will cushion you, will help preserve your sanity, will support a happy healthy life for YOU no matter how much he drinks, or what drinking causes him to do, and give clarity on this semi uncomfortable (even moreso with a baby on the way) spot you are in.
I'll just have to see what happens when the baby comes along though because as you say growing up in the house of an alcoholic is not great for any child- something my husband knows all too well himself...
Yes - this cycle repeats itself...over and over....and through generations of people growing up saying "I will never be like my parent."
Anyway even though I appreciate the efforts you all went to, to reply to my post, obviously what you have all said is not very reassuring- except perhaps for the comment that what I described doesn't sound super excessive...
Do you want comfortable responses or truthful responses? It is very disappointing when the response is not what we want it to be. It's a kick to the chest, I know....I received it when I got here too.
Please hang around here. There is a new way of thinking, a new way of LIVING that can help you navigate your struggles with problem drinking in your home. The beginning of this journey is hard to hear and learn about, but it can literally save your life and sanity. (((HUGS))) and congrats on the little one!