Routine, addiction, excuses are easier
Hello,
I've been on and off here for a few years now. Happily I can say I am past my worst years, going through a horrible break up, job loss, feeling lowest of low possible. A lot has changed and though I know I still have the alcohol battle, at least I can feel inside that a lot of growth and change has occurred within me. I have just moved and things are finally starting to get settled, ehh moving sucks. In the months prior to the move I had this vision of changing my life and my routines. Last night was first night that I am starting to feel better in my new place. I also decided to stay in and take a day one off from booze. I had a good run for 3 weeks in end of March / April but fell again with the moving and final splitting from my last ex who doesn't want the relationship to be over but it is. So now it's time to prove to myself I can do this...but it's hard and I know the early stages are very hard. Breaking the cycle, the routine, the simple excuses, it's so much easier to just stay in the cycle. And sometimes I feel like the easiness of excuse and cycle are just as powerful as the addiction.
So here's to trying to stay strong and confront the cycle, change the cycle, create a new cycle. Here's to a new journey...
Thanks for listening.