Originally Posted by TimeForMe

Bluehawaii -

I'm sorry you're going through this. I think a common theme on the forum is that WE get blamed for all the problems, when we feel like we are the ones constantly forgiving and holding everything together.

If our loved ones were to stop blaming us for causing them to drink or whatever other problems we are "causing", they would have to take a long, hard look at themselves, and they do not want to do that, because that means they would have to address the REAL cause of the drinking...which is not us, by the way.

If you want to divorce, you do not need to rationalize your decision to anyone...your AD, your RAH, your pastor...anyone. You are in charge of yourself. Only yourself. You are allowed to do what you want.