Originally Posted by
zoso77 
jk...
The hardest thing you'll have to accept is this situation is unfixable. There is literally nothing you can do to turn this around. And while I understand that you want to somehow, through the grace of God, save the marriage, you have to begin the process of accepting that may not be possible.
I will leave you with this, though. You do not need permission to do what is best for you or your daughter. What's best for you may not necessarily be what you want, but that should not preclude you from doing what you have to do.
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Zoso I am quoting because you put it into words. Logic and the behavior of an addict do not go hand in hand. We (meaning the loved ones of the addict) tend to want to pick up their cross and carry it. But in the end they are responsible for what they do. They are the ones that are participating in the chaos and there is never a why other than addiction.
I am not there, but I can say this for sure. Staying asleep for days at a time, gone for days at a time, and not having regard or concern to phone or text is surely a surefire sign of drug use. I cant advise you on what to do or what not to do about him but I know first had that you must take care of you.
The life and downward spiral of loving an addict takes a toll on us and you have to think of you. As much as you can remember that he is choosing this life, and you must live yours as well. Take care of you, even if its just a bath or great song or whatever you enjoy for five minutes. The repeat of the worry tape that we play never does much good.
Keep posting and know that you are not alone.