Originally Posted by FriendofBill
One thing Im learning is that I must let him have his own relationship with his father and I need to butt out and not fight his battles for him. I do not speak to his father about our son's feelings of him. Basically its not my business to do that, just as its not my business to tell one friend that another is upset with them.
My ex constantly accuses me of brain washing him agaisnt his father. I just let those accusations fall into the wind. I know the truth and thats enough for me. Its the disease talking.
Good advice, I think........that is what I TRY to do...in fact, I try to leave the room when he is on the phone with either of themso I am not tempted to get "sucked into" the drama.
I do encourage them to return his call, but do not force it (they are old enough); will mention (if it is a big problem) when I speak to him, that there may be a problem he would like to discuss with _______ if he hasn't already, and always remind them that he DOES love them, even though he just can not show it; he is very sick right now. His actions may be wrong, and unacceptable but he is not well.
It brings a whole other layer of pain to the disease when children are involved (regardless of their age) doesn't it? I hate it....fior what it's worth!