Hi Undies,
It has been a while since I posted here, or anywhere outside of the DQ thread - which I love. However, since returning to SR in July of 2013 at like 6 weeks sober at the time, Undies has been a great place to talk recovery, and, keep it real.
On the changes between year one and two....humm, I can't say that anything really stands out for me. Somehow, someway I learned early on this time to really keep as much of my life ODAAT - or, in present tense as possible.
I struggled far too long at living between my ears in the past and future. Living on highs and lows. All or nothing....etc. My work in recovery has lead to a peace and serenity that had escaped me for my first 6 decades.
I spend time thinking about being grateful for so many things that in my active addiction past I simply took for granted. I've honestly learned acceptance of the things beyond my control. Prior to doing something I llok to see if ego or humility is the driver. I embrace vulnerability and use it as a reason to reach out and grow. I practice random acts of kindness. I stay in touch with other alcoholics daily. I practice rigorous honesty to the best of my ability. That was my very first impact message from the rooms. I pass decisions through the filter of - do the next best right thing.
I am far from perfect at any of those things. Do I fall off course? Of course I do - it is progress and not perfection, right?
Just in the past 10 days I can think back on 2 situations that were challenging to my recovery. One, with one of my girls, is reoccurring in its frustration (especially when my ex is in the minutia). The other, with a date that got drunk as we watched a bad-ass funk band on Friday night.
In both cases, I looked for personal growth. With my daughter and a reoccurring issue, I realized how easily I can slip back into my alcoholic thinking. I wanted to be right - make she and ex realize the error of their ways - lol. It's so funny how being right and being at peace are so opposite. Being right in a disagreement is kinda pointless if serenity is your goal.
Bigger picture - anger triggers alcoholic thinking in me. I guess if I had thought about that, it would have seemed obvious. I rarely get angry and have fought hard at not getting angry in recovery. However, it's going to happen - and I now realize the trigger to alcoholic thinking and hopefully will come to a resolve faster and easier in the future.
The date scenario is interesting too. This was the second time in recovery for me that a date got blasted. While this woman didn't fall down in the middle of the street like 1st one did - she was close. She knew I was a recovering alkie and had said drinking wasn't important to her. Me thinks that was a "pants on fire" type lie. Haha, that's easily addressed...she is off my radar.
The other thing I noticed from that miserable date...probs the first time I was at a bar for a rockin live band in a really party atmosphere. It threw me. I saw the bartender pouring Parton shots a few times - my shot on choice - and they looked f'n good. Thinking back, I was reminded of another early lesson - change people, places and things.
Well, the band really was good, and I decided to stay that first set out. In the end, my takeaway was a lot of drunk people - many old folks acting crazy, trying to look young and cool, that just looked foolish. That's the suncoast of Florida senior bar scene -
. Live bands at bars is now off my list - for good!
Haha, oh...back to my original hummm about changes after a year. Nothing from above came with a date. It really is a journey with a constant need to stay focused and vigilant. No destination or time stamp markings....just today and the amazing promise that sobriety offers.
Hi to ALL! Babs, a special treat to see you so engaged in your recovery.
Kop, looking for a new challenge that includes no processed sugar - try a Whole 30 (just google it). A recovery friend turned me on to this opportunity to establish a new relationship with food and I simply love it. Yes, you actually get Tiger Blood!!
Hey, let's enjoy this gift we gave ourselves of sobriety today.
Carlos