Here are my thoughts on this today: when I feel distant from myself, then I feel distant from others. How then, can I become more in touch with myself and be good to me.
So, this can apply to me as well as others and once you put a bunch of recovering alch'ys in a room in various stages of recovery (or not) plus your own mishigaz, then it can be a real hoe-down. So to speak.
I have some decent time under my belt but I believe it's because I come and go from the rooms as needed. Like a marathon, not a sprint - I try and pace myself so that I can go the distance. Here's an example of the weirdness that can occur in an aa room: when I said that exact thing last week in a local meeting, a guy with 33 years followed after me and looking directly AT me said: "It is not a marathon or a sprint, it is a way of life." Ok, whatever. Be a d!ck. I just looked back at him and smiled.
Some people will hate whatever you say, go against you, cause trouble, gossip - all kinds of weird stuff. But - can I remain calm and peaceful no matter what others do? Al-Anon can help with that alot. : )
Friends, let me say that in my local area we have some serious bad stuff that goes on among members, men against women and vice versa. We have very, very few young women because the men are so predatory that they drive them away. I am a strong woman with alot of time and experience, and I sometimes have to step away for a few weeks because it is so unhealthy.
So, when you feel that there is something wrong with you because you don't fit in - ask yourself, hmmm ... what is the context and who is right or healthy here? Sometimes, it is ok to not fully fit in but to be an outsider in the rooms. I hold my own most of the time, but like I say - I often have to just stay away for a while. Others might have a harder time of it. One young woman keeps drinking because of the dynamics in the rooms - she is a walking victim for these guys. I step in and help her where I can but it makes me very upset to see the dysfunction, and I have to protect myself as well. Very difficult, sometimes.