WeakGirl,
"......I wondered if any of you have had counseling in dealing with codependency/addiction of your loved ones/letting go?..... "
This is second hand experience so you should definitely take it with a grain or two of salt.
There is a couple who comes to my Nar-Anon group. They have two sons, both of whom are heroin addicts. At one point in their lives they had both sons plus an addicted girlfriend living in their home. Life was constant chaos for them, and they were classic codependents.
They (the parents) were seeing a counselor on a regular basis and essentially getting no where. Very early on in their relationship with the counselor, she told them they should get involved with Nar-Anon for support.
Being rational people, they reasoned, "How can a group of untrained people help us more than our "professional" counselor?" and they ignored her advice for more than a year.
In desperation, they finally made the decision and started to attend Nar-Anon. They came to the rooms and saw people that "had what they wanted." Now, they have sponsors, have both worked their steps, have sponsees of their own now and are no longer co-dependents. It should be noted that they found their recoveries at least a year before their sons. Unfortunately one son is incarcerated and will be for quite some time, the other is in good recovery, married, self-sufficient and thriving with a handsome baby boy.
Nar-Anon, Al-Anon, CoA or CR certainly will not take the place of a trauma counselor but might help you with codependency issues. It's worth a try and it's free!
Keep coming back,
Jim