Originally Posted by
Ann 
YT, I can really feel your pain over all this and it's a sad situation for everyone concerned. The thing is, I feel really bad for you that no matter how hard to try...by doing something like the confrontation, or not doing something to let your silence speak...you can't play it out what "they" will do or not do. He will do this and then she will do that... none of this serves you well because in the end, they don't change, they don't "see the light". and that hurts a lot.
You have made yourself available to talk, now maybe start taking very good care of yourself and healing because the dialogue may or may not ever come. YOU are a good person, worthy of love and respect. Nobody else needs to validate that once you believe it in your heart. You are "enough" to validate yourself and your feelings and you are worth so much better than all this.
We cannot change one moment of our past, we cannot make anyone give what they don't have to give....but we CAN claim ownership of our own lives and make something wonderful out of it,
Don't get me wrong, talking this through here is therapeutic for you, as it would be to talk to a therapist. It's a good thing. My response is just that, a, hopefully, supportive response to your pain. Keep talking but maybe add something wonderful that you can do for yourself to help you along this path of recovery.
Cheering you on with my hugs.
Thanks so much for being here Ann. I am amazed and touched by the way you have made a reappearance in my life. I have no expectations for you to stick around, just so you know. The simple act of writing has always been very therapeutic for me, and I I believe that it will help somebody, sometime to share my experiences.
This morning I have been focused on REVENGE. I used to believe in astrology. My sun and 4 other planets are in Scorpio, yet as 3 different Myers-Briggs tests taken several years apart have indicated, I'm an INFJ (read: SUCKER). Lol! How does that rate??
Bipolar I, that's how that rates. Fun times. But all jokes aside - and even though the parallels really are uncanny - astrology is nonsense. I lean toward the latter (Myers-Briggs) as being an accurate and reliable personality questionnaire. As compassionate and forgiving to a default as I am, I've been a magnet for narcissists and sociopaths all my life and he won't be the first one I've kicked to the curb. It's never been an easy task though, and he is my Dad. It's still difficult to come to grips with who he is. Very, very difficult. And I'll always wonder how and if he will be different with her gone. It's going to torment me when she dies and he's all alone, which will probably be before the holidays. I don't want him to suffer alone. He'll never seek professional help, and since he told me my stepmom had cancer in January of 2015, he has expressed no emotions about it to me. Maybe he'll blow his brains out. I can't be with him physically. . . .his reactions have always been unpredictable. Maybe he'll blow my brains out. But then, he's a coward and prison isn't his gig. He'll find another wife to floss his butt rather than stoop to pick up the soap.
I am in between therapists, by the way. My previous therapist has moved to a different division within my current provider's company and I am meeting with a new one on the 18th. Fortunately I had only one session with my previous therapist, therefore we hadn't established a long-term relationship so there are no separation anxiety issues there. Anger management group went swimmingly last night. I'll probably request a different kind of weekly group session from my new therapist that is more geared toward my current issues.