(((Jess)))
That's a lot to handle, of course you'd be anxious!! I don't claim to know everything you're going through, but I certainly relate to overworking, to the exclusion of relationships and exercise/health. I felt like I had a dual addiction to work and alcohol, and they fed each other. I'm not working right now ... in my case it was a choice, but it's definitely challenging to be away from work, when my life was organized in the past to be all about work. But it's also a good opportunity to catch up on those areas of my life that have been neglected.
As far as BP failing, that's a big topic, that many here have wrestled with... but in my own experience the difficulty comes in the "R" piece ... sometimes the AV can attack so quickly that, without sufficient mindfulness, I'm in danger of identifying
with it, rather than recognizing it as the beast and dissociating from it. So I'm working on slowing down during stressful situations ... breathing, slowing down to heighten my mindfulness of my thoughts, before things start to snowball. I don't know if any of that pertains, to that period of time during which you chose to drink again.
In any event ... you can absolutely do this, and although this sub-forum is a little quiet, I know there are people here who are ready to support you in this, so please keep posting.
