cant say how many mornings i woke up in agony over the actions and words from me while drunk the day/night before. the fear of the repercussions was horrendous.
but i still didnt stop.
until the morning after my last blackout drunk. my(by then ex) fiance told me some of what i had done and said then tossed me to the curb.
that was when i decided to get help or kill myself. i joined AA, worked the program, and became free from both alcohol and fear of past actions.