I'm grateful that this thread was started. My mother, although not an alcoholic, didn't allow us to express or feel our feelings and was quite a nasty lady. I've started therapy and am seeing the correlation between her and my exa. Not one of my siblings (myself too) realized our potential and not even one of the five of us married a man who doesn't call us names or respects our feelings. I know i need to get past the anger, loathing and resentment but then again I think this one woman destroyed 5 lives and probably my father's too. He died when I was three, the oldest sister was seven and the youngest 6 mos. We've all said at one time or another it will probably be ipossible to cry at her funeral and then we laugh like hell.