Thank you all
I think this is occurring because I was starting to recover in the house. Then I had to start packing and going through everything and it was like ripping the scab off and pouring salt in the wound.
I'm reading through my past posts and it made me remember how good I felt when this all first happened. This is what makes me think that what I'm upset about isn't really about exA at all. As a Codie I recognize that I used that relationship as a distraction from my OWN problems. I'm now forced to deal and work through them. Man, this is tough, really tough.
I can't seem to let go of guilt that I am leaving him behind. I know I can be happy, I've felt it! But I self sabotage because deep down I don't believe I deserve it. It's hard for me to be happy when I know he drinks to deal with life. Why do I get to be happy? It's sick thinking, I know. Thank goodness for therapy