Angie you handled it well, giving yourself a nice meal and allowing yourself time to cry.
I didn't realize I had self loathing and depression until well into my sobriety. I agree with the above comments that drinking will only lead to MORE problems, more self loathing, more depression.
I cried A LOT during my first year sober. Here's the good news: I remember when it started to get better during the 2nd year.
Keep doing the right things and you'll get healthier too.
