Originally Posted by
FireSprite 
Great thread Liz - and thanks to all the guys for participating, I've learned quite a bit from another POV.
FWIW - I don't think it sounds like you are settling Liz, it sounds more like settling IN to the New Normal, in some ways.
Like - adjusting your expectations to this relationship to include a partner that is more about actions than words. Also that it's okay for you to feel/express your love differently. Just because he isn't vocal or mushy about his love for you doesn't mean that you can't be that way yourself, when you are genuinely feeling that way & want to express it.
I think that you are doing great honestly!
Yes, maybe that's part of it. I have to admit that I'm feeling a subconscious pull to step back, to pull away from him, and he noticed it last night and told me I've never been so quiet since he's met me. He didn't push me for a reason but I know he saw I was pensive.
I have this feeling that I'm just setting myself up to be brokenhearted again, and I'm just not ready for it yet. So, I'm feeling like I want to build that wall around my heart that was there for so long. I don't want to be robotic in a relationship ever again so this is something I obviously need to address within myself. He's done nothing wrong. He's been honest.
The man got up at 3 AM to get me tylenol (summer storms have made my sinuses a mess and I was feeling ill last night) and water. He was awake, as well, because he had his infusion for his RA yesterday and that makes him feel crappy too!
He brought me my tea while I was getting ready for work this AM. He thanked me for making dinner and for getting groceries last night. Actually, he used to thank me for just going on a date with him like, "Thanks for going out tonight. It was good to see you." He's pretty simple with his words, lol.
I am so grateful I get to share my recovery journey with you all. I have a lot of other issues going on in my life that need my attention. My son and his learning disabilities and my worries over how he'll function as an adult when he can't even remember which mailbox is ours (he has memory issues), my XAH who doesn't believe our son has issues and whom I had to take back to court 2 weeks ago, and my job and low paying salary and financial struggles. Life is not easy. I'm just doing the best I can each day and sometimes my best isn't good enough, in my eyes so I beat myself up a LOT! Thanks for all your support.