JK, it sounds like he has checked out of family and marriage and is just living selfishly for himself. It's completely outrageous, especially as you seem to be supporting him as well.
Make some plans for managing on your own. You're doing it now, but because your AH and you are still together you have these (reasonable) expectations that he will behave like a decent person you're getting more and more upset. I'm upset for you too!
If you accept that he's left your marriage, and change the locks, at least you won't be being let down all the time. Lower your expectations. Put on your big girl pants and make financial and other plans for managing your life without this leech.