Yes, Jeep, the late nights followed by sleeping the post-drinking days away. I remember being so happy because I at least knew when there was a heck of a bender the day before, I would get a day without drinking, maybe even a few if I was lucky, before she felt good enough to pick up again. Every time hoping she would determine it was the last time she wanted to spend a hungover day feeling ill in bed. Wishing it would become her sober day one. Never happened.
Thanks for the response re: texting. Sounds as if that's more a personality trait than something common for addicts then. Just an observation.
The other thing that Jeep's post rattled loose in me is the realization of the double standard. We started living almost separate lives for a while because I told her I didn't want to go out with her if she would be drinking. When every destination turned into one where alcohol was served, I stopped going. So I'd go out on my own, have a bite and a drink or two sometimes, be home in an hour or so. She'd go out on her own, stay out for 8 hours straight drinking, come home right before sunrise. But I was controlling and no fun because my idea of out was not the same as hers.
I also was constantly asked about my plans. Jeep's mention of working on the house and mowing the lawn for example. I kept a mental (sometimes written) chore list and it got lengthy at times because I had no help. So it became almost a sad running joke when a weekend or weeknight started and she would ask, basically, what are my plans for the rest of the day/night? I would then rattle off all the things I wanted to do or that had to get done, she would offer no help, or sometimes ask what I was going to do to "entertain her". She didn't like to do chores, and didn't have much in the way of hobbies other than texting or surfing the web, so it was left to be to be the entertainment director. I did often challenge her to come up with something she'd like to do, that involved no alcohol at all, and I'd happily drop everything to do it with her, but she never could. She stopped wanting to go to places that served food unless they had alcohol a long time ago, too.
Hi Red!
I will have to look into pup fostering opportunities, that would be fun I think. I'd love to see our dog again SO much, probably as much as she wants to drink, but I have to resist because it hurt so bad when she left the first time. I don't want to do the silly thing and rush into a new dog so soon after I'm not even over my old dog (so funny the parallels between that and human relationships).