Originally Posted by
atalose 
My second thought is, if her life truly bothered her and she wanted to put her past behind her once and for all…………she would. But instead she wears it on her sleeve and uses it as an excuse to stay just how she is drinking her life away because she wants to be the victim. When she says over and over again “I’m just a little girl” how many of the adults around her treat her like one? How many appease her, walk on egg shells, bend over backwards so that life runs smoothly?
By the way I wanted to add (and hope I am not overstepping or thread-jacking here) but this case above is the one that probably astounds me the most about my experience with alcohol and the personalities that come along with it of being the victim.
Over the years, my ex had many opportunities for life to basically fall into what I'd refer to best as a "normal" pattern. "Normal" meaning: go to work, make the money, eat dinner, do the dishes, watch some TV, save up for vacations, etc. You know, the basic, normal boring life that most people do.
She somehow managed to, just at the precipice of what we would call "normalcy", being out of debt, out of school, settling into a routine, completely self-destruct with alcohol on an increasing scale until the point her life totally blew up and she was in total chaos. She followed this pattern before we started dating as well. Just BEFORE settling, just before a commitment to something long term, or just a commitment to living a regular life, BOOM. Chaos. And then, the victim complex kicks in. More reasons to drink. More reasons to look for attention from friends, family, from new people -- The PERFECT backstory and backdrop for the alcohol. My life is so terrible because XYZ so I am drinking! And everyone goes, oh, poor you, yeah we get it, your life is a mess right now -- You go ahead and have those drinks.
Amazing, remarkable both the "woe is me" and the victim complex, especially in cases like Ohio's AW, my ex, and many others I have ready about, where there is a perfectly wonderful life within reach, only to have their brains do an incredible about face to avoid all that and continue the turmoil and self-destruction.
Remarkable.