Originally Posted by
Nonsensical 
Option 3: Embrace the suck and move forward.
What do you think I've been doing my whole life...
Originally Posted by
Nonsensical Go do something nice for somebody. Change their world for a day and see what happens to yours.
Believe it or not I do a lot of that. I'm supposed to be doing more for myself now in recovery, seemingly. I dunno what though. You're the worst in the world if enjoying yourself.
There is a huge apparent disparity of opinion on that between those who know me to some degree, and those who don't. Apart from that we are getting closer to the problem now...
Originally Posted by
Berrybean I'll hazard a guess that it's something that won't be made better by drinking.
I guess you are right. Just angry this morning. Also hungry but thats sorted, bit tired too. Raining all morning so I probably will go back to bed.
Originally Posted by
Dee74 Whats up SG?
Kinda triggered myself earlier, I was looking through a stores website at clearance stuff (I need an exercise mat) and seen household things. Ordinary basic household utilities. And I am thinking to myself, how many f'n times have I bought those things? A hundred times I have, to try and get into a normal daily routine- something most people take for granted- and how many people have tried to subjugate my efforts? Many, for whatever reason.
Know something guess what? For ten years now (I'l focus on them, as I have been) as a single person, young, uneducated, child abuse victim/survivor which is still unresolved for the most part etc, I've been raising a kid with
NO SUPPORT from anyone or anything. Emotional, mental, financial etc (I realise the problem begins with my own FOO but). While trying keep a roof over our head, with CPTSD symptoms (big time) ever increasing drink problem. etc, etc. Guess what instead??? Everybody around me (for the most part) trying to take advantage of the situation. Manipulating, coercing, and accusing me of things even. 'Not being a citizen' being the most ridiculous, despite me paying tax from my wages to the same people from ages 14 to 22 wtf?
And then it turns out that I alone have been doing right by God, all along (to the best of my ability, which is even ok according to AA)… And what are all these other people doing sticking their noses in? Not helping us, thats for sure. Staff here at the hostel gave me a bike recently that need to be repaired basically because I said I will as it looks worth it, which got me to thinking… Nobody has ever given me anything like that, which didnt have a hundred strings attached, or wasn't part of a some plot etc.
Just sayin'. Anyway, I realise some of this boils down to codepency issues but still, I'm talking too about people who should know better. UNLIKE ME who's whole being is constructed of defense and survival mechanisms. ffs.
Rant over.