I can totally relate. I haven't done the steps or AA.. but on day 19 I'm realizing some of the things I have done. It's so weird, that I find myself trying to dissociate like that couldn't have been me. For the first time in a long time, I went food shopping w my own money. When I was drinking, my dad would give me 20 dollars a day for food...obviously went to wine. If I got hungry, would have to shoplift to eat something. This is a store where everyone knows me and adores me. How could I do that? I'm a horrible person!!! Then I realize how out of control I was, and remember with sobriety I will never have to do that again!!