Originally Posted by
doggonecarl 
Maybe our lot as recovering alcoholics is the curse of always having it in our thoughts to one degree or another. I accept the degree I think about it. The degree that you are thinking about it drove you to drink. Perhaps there is something out of kilter with your recovery. Maybe the issue of balance is there. And if you recovery is just about abstinence, that may be it.
I think I lost track of myself and became overwhelmed and used an overwhelming situation as a reason to throw my sobriety out the window. I did not care at all at that point. I did not reach out to anyone and I did not want to think about reaching out. I don't have an excuse.
Yes, there is something faulty in the way that I think about sobriety or how I live when I am sober. The obsession to drink turns into the obsession to not drink. Given enough time, I am sure the obsession would die down.