I do relate for the most part. I am not in denial as much as I am tired of talking with my loved ones about the thing that is hurting me so much. I have gone around and around with this stupid obsession. My loved ones have seen me go around and around. I do think that therapy is going to be helpful. I plan on asking a person I trust for the name of their counselor today. Counseling has been a crap shoot for me over the years.
This is just overwhelming honestly. The only way off the ride is to actually get off and walk away. To not listen to the voice that obsesses and to find something more productive. We can do this. I can do this. Support is essential.