I'm sorry you are having a hard time right now but I am happy that you found Sober recovery because there lots of people who have been there or still are going through it and lots of support here.
It sounds like you need to do a medical detox- you can look up medical detoxes in your area or you can go to a hospital and detox there. Withdrawals can be life threatening- especially since you have a history of having dangerous side affects from withdrawal in the past. Reach out- there are tons of resources out there you just need to be willing to put in the work to find what you need. You can do this- don't give up on yourself. Do you have a doctor that you can see and tell him/her what is going on and I am sure your doctor will tell you what to do and where to go.