Kaily, I know it has been mentioned before, but why not rehab? You say there is a wait and I don't doubt it, but can you at least get yourself on the list. The worst that can happen is that you keep on drinking until a space frees up in rehab- but then you go. Then you get help. Not even getting on the list means you will never go. I can completely relate to feeling like nothing works. I was there too. The only thing that worked for me was rehab.