Originally Posted by LotusChild

Another low mom moment of late is my son telling me as we pull into the liquor store parking lot is "Oh right, of course we are here now. Mom I know your routines, we need to get wine every night!"
This is it. I am ready to quit.
This is not who I want to be. This is not what I want my son to see. I think the biggest wake up call for me that I am realizing is that with my sitting and zoning out every night, my 11 year old son has suffered as well. I noticed "our nightly routines" after my daughter is in bed look like this-
Me on the couch with my bottle and the remote in hand AND my lovely boy (whom I am teaching the same coping mechanisms) is on the couch in our den -glued to his PS4 playing hour after hour of video games.
Some nights, I pass out on the couch and he wakes me up at midnight and tells me to go to bed. He has put on weight from snacking on foods and mindless eating while gaming. We aren't out enjoying the summer nights, we aren't playing board games or sitting down for real evening meals.
Last week, a neighbour's friend came by unepectedly with a request to stay the night, I was half asleep/passed out on the couch and I think I slurred my words when he and my son asked me if we could order a pizza. I vaguely remember hearing my son saying to his friend (in embarrassment) "oh she's just tired, she gets like that sometimes".