Thank you for posting this Boleo. I needed to see this. tough love does not work for all. I have been so down despite maintaining sobriety from 2 addictive substances for near 7 months now. I am not responsive to "tough love" as it feels tantamount to kicking me while I am already down and I have come to feel sad about my sobriety, as if I am not "doing" sobriety right because I have not had the same experiences as others. I agree, empathy goes much farther than more mean, more cruel. The kinder folks here, those are the ones that give me hope and helped me personally. As a survivor of childhood abuse, I can also attest to the fact that empathy will do someone who is already very, very hurt much more good than going all angry and tough on them. Personally I have had more than my share of being treated that way growing up, and all it did was damage me, not make me tougher.
Thank you again for posting this, I am very down today and needed to see that I am not "wrong" for my experiences or feelings being what they are.