Hi wicket - I don't think you're a failure either
If it was easy to stop, we wouldn't need places like SR.
I think you should cut your losses tho - the longer you drink, and the longer you try and keep it secret, the greater the chance that everything is going to come crashing down around your ears.
I would come clean with your bf - but thats me, it's a decision only you can make.
What you
absolutely need to do though is stop drinking and make a day one.
Hoe did you get and stay sober last time?
D