In early sobriety (first 3 to 4 months) I found myself feeling just like this for awhile. As I continued to work on myself, go to counseling, rebuild bridges with my family and those that are closest to me I started to truly forgive myself and move past dwelling on the past. I continually go to counseling, check in with my psychiatrist and substance abuse counselor, volunteer, go to church, and work on myself and because I am always moving forward, I have been able to come to terms with the friendships I have ruined and the people I have let down. Do I wish I didn't hurt people? Of course, but I need to keep moving forward no matter what. Dwelling in the past can be a recipe for disaster.
Keep moving forward. Your emotional strength and growth is shining through your post. Sometimes the past can haunt us, but as long as we are changing and moving forward we don't need to dwell in it.