Regarding your OP, I think you reached an important milestone. Realizing that its just not a life you want to live anymore, and its just not worth it. I know that sounds trivial, but for some, it really comes down to just that.
When I was drinking daily, I got to a point where I would jump out of bed every morning to go to work because I knew no matter what I did that day, I could come home and "unwind". Things are totally different now, my sleep is so good sometimes its hard getting up, but after the shower and a cup of coffee, I'm ready to go....and with a clear head and physically feeling great. Its a wonderful life.