I just want to be myself again
Hi guys it's me again. I haven't been on here in a while because I decided that I wasn't ready to quit drinking. I liked it. I looked forward to it everyday. Coming home and drinking myself into a nice blissful sleep. But this morning getting up for work just sucked so bad and I am sick of feeling this way. I miss my old self that would get up each day with drive and enthusiasm and no hangover and give 100% each day.
I think it is least who says you need to want sobriety more than you want to drink. I want that now. I want to wake up each morning refreshed and energized way more than my couple hours each night of senseless imbibing. I want that old me back way more than that.
I am not physically dependent I don't no why it is so damned hard for me to just STOP. I am really angry and disappointed with myself this morning. I need to stop listening to my AV and instead come straight on here when I feel the urge to drink.
This sucks.