FreeDance

I've been here awhile, off and on.

I am trying to hold it together and looked, via Google, for a "mental illness" board, but it's all fragmented -- you have to fit ONE label.

So I came back here, but it's the same. I get it. You can't have everyone all in the same pool of conversation, but I don't know where to go for support.

I abuse alcohol. My daughter is a heroin addict on methadone who abuses alcohol. My parents were both mentally ill. In my family alone, we have bipolar disorder, major depression, anxiety with panic attacks, addiction, eating disorders, personality disorders (rage) and a bit of PTSD.

I am up late drinking, just trying to cope with too much from the people and circumstances happening around me -- everyone else's issues have always been on ME to manage. I need help to take care of my own self.

Yes, I have seen counselors, I'm on my own meds, etc... Just in the wee hours, I feel so overwhelmed with things I haven't been able to say while ensuring everyone else's needs are met.

When I should be in bed, I'm up doing nothing good. And tomorrow will come early -- another day of juggling their needs with mine, while trying to keep up with work and impending deadlines and pressures... It feels like too much, sometimes.

That's all. Just didn't know where else to share.