Thank you everyone! I know all of this logically, but need it to resonate with me emotionally. I'm sure we all know how much of a struggle that is!
Hopeful - thank you for that. You are absolutely right that no contact is the way to go. It's just so hard to untangle this mess that's been created in my head. Unfortunately, it's not going to be complete no contact. We still have a lease together which he is taking over at the end of this month and most of his stuff is here. I'm also moving all my stuff out then, and so there's going to be overlap to sort our possessions. I hope those interactions won't be too painful.
Queenbee - Thank you for your words of support. Our situations do sound very similar, and I imagine emotionally they are. So frustrating how these people have done horrible things, yet they receive the most support and love while we're totally ignored by them, at least in my case. I don't think there's a romantic relationship with the woman he's living with, but either way it's not my business and I have to keep reminding myself of that. I've seen him a few times while he's been in recovery and he seems pretty miserable, sometimes hopeful, so I'm glad I don't have to put up with that emotional roller coaster. Especially when I'm dealing with my own.
Atalose - Wow, thank you for that perspective of me putting the trash out. That was extremely helpful to see it that way. I don't know why I don't have boundaries with him, never had that problem before. I think I just keep trying to rationalize his actions because I understand how much trauma he's been through in his life. However, you are right - regardless of that, he has no right to treat me the way he has and to continue to be so narcissistic while he's in recovery.
Oldsoul - Thank you for your words, guilt is absolutely not what I should be feeling. Your situation sounds incredibly painful, but I'm happy you'retaking care of yourself. I wish you the most love in your journey.