Hi Acheleus. Thanks for you post.
I am beginning this life work, too. I am much older than you.
Sobriety is teaching me I cannot undo, nor think my way out of, who I am.
Tactics from my drinking years kept me in a ping-pong game of telling myself "I'll do what I hate, now, in order to get to do what I love, later." But "later" never came. Something always thwarted me from pursuing my talents. Namely, life!
We only have one life. Other people have theirs. People being people, they'll tell you, based on their own life experience, what to do with yours. Very dangerous. Unless it nurtures your creative path, be wary of others' well-meaning advice. And don't engage put-downs of any sort! Just remember, hurting people (especially hurting creatives) may unintentionally hurt others.
What I can tell myself in sobriety is, follow the middle path.
I have a dream of being in a creative income-producing situation on one hand, I have a nightmare of that soul-sucking job until I die, on the other.
The middle path is about taking baby-steps toward the dream, while avoiding heading in the direction of nightmares.
Good luck, fellow seeker.