I appreciate the support despite my situation not being nearly as gut wrenching as I have seen some others go through. I need to remind myself of my many blessings and good fortune instead of just feeling sorry for myself. I felt a little surrounded this week by couples who all make it work -- Granted, most of them have kids and I think in many cases children help keep couples working together as a team, and our lack of kids definitely gave us nothing to team up on. But I never knew I wanted a kid.
The roommate reference is really spot on from the standpoint that you feel so distant, and you lose that spark and connection of being part of an actual couple. It's just another body in the house. This week I've almost felt like she's a ghost floating around. We don't touch, don't talk much, we are just occupying space.
Whether she decides to try and fight this or not, I prefer she do it on her own terms at her own hand, rather that continue to live here and test the waters. I felt like such a fool when days after I would tell her how angry or hurt I was when she came home drunk in the middle of the night, she went and did it again. Not weeks, or months later. Days. If that doesn't show a lack of respect or care for a relationship, not sure what does. Roommate city. Your roommate can get away with doing stuff like that. Not your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse.