Originally Posted by
StayingGrateful 
The feeling of me missing out and feeling deprived of fun from drinking is a huge wall for me staying sober. As my name refers to, when I am grateful to be sober, I can stay sober. But once I start feeling like I'm missing out and depriving myself of fun, I usually buckle. In my mind, I am young and should be out there with the rest of my young generations and living it up. Not at home alone feeling bitter and not allowed to do what I see others do with impunity.
Drinking and living it up or being home alone and bitter and not "allowed"....are not the only options. I have been able to go out and enjoy myself and not drink at the same time. I do get the passing longing here and there when I see people enjoy it, I won't lie about that, but I know that I can't/don't stop at one or two....and I now see how absolutely irritating drunk people are. Yes, I am more quiet/less obnoxious when I'm out now than when I was drinking, but that is NOT necessarily a bad thing. Waking up the next day, even after a late night, and not feeling hungover is fabulous. Driving home knowing I have nothing to worry about, not one-eyeing it and praying to not see a cop is a HUGE weight off the shoulders.
I would start by trying to see all the gray between your two black-and-white scenarios.