I completely understand where you're coming from as I feel exactly the same. I am quite awkward socially and find drinking, at least the first few drinks, helps tremendously with this. Without drink I think I can no longer socialize then what would life be for? Of course my sane mind knows this is not the case - my sister never drinks and is always socializing, but my alcoholic self supports my theory .
Mind over matter! It's simply a case of how to carve out your own personal path in life that you can enjoy. I'm struggling myself to find my own path.