Thank you so much for your replies! Iīve been working on changing my routine before sleep, it takes some discipline but Iīll get there. Havenīt found the Vetiver yet, but Iīll keep looking.
I found it helps a lot to read in bed instead of getting online. The other day they were giving away tons of (very good) books at the library and I took about 30 home. So that was a great incentive to get back to reading again, something I hadnīt done since the drama with xabf unfolded.
I have also reduced my overall use of online sites, even discovered I feel much happier not interacting at all on facebook for example. Today I suddenly realized, on a gut level, that xabfīs alcoholism is his problem completely, and it was a huge relief. It is great not to know anything about his life. Itīs strange but I have no positive feelings at all towards him, donīt miss him at all.