Originally Posted by
Carol Star 
and some "a's" were just "a-holes" before they were "a's"
This !
Originally Posted by
Refiner These so-called "men" that say these degrading things to and about women aren't "men" at all. They have not evolved into men and are still dragging their knuckles and have big foreheads and large sharp teeth. Don't allow these knuckle-draggers to trespass into the spaces in your mind. Not worth anyone's time or energy to be wasted on a mere knuckle-dragger
Hi Refiner.
It is not just some alcoholic men who mentally and emotionally abuse and belittle their partners. Some alcoholic women do the same thing to their partners.
I am absolutely not trying to turn this into a "men vs women" debate, because it isn't.
The key point is to realise that this is neither "male behavior" nor "female behavior" - it is ALCOHOLIC behaviour, and as such it can affect both men and women, both as perpetrators of abuse and victims of abuse.
As a man subjected to abuse from my female ex, I was deeply deeply ashamed about that.
Perhaps this is one of those areas of men not wanting to talk about it - I know that the last thing I wanted to do was tell ANYONE how I was being abused by my ex. As a man, I found the belittling abuse deeply emasculating.
I'd wager that there are other men who have read this thread who have identified with the same feelings that the women who have posted in this thread have felt, but those men are too ashamed to post replies about their experience of this, so to any men reading this thread who are in that position, I encourage you to speak up - you are not alone, and both the men and the women on this forum are openminded enough to realise that this is an ALCOHOLIC behaviour problem that can affect both male and female alcoholics, and not simply a gender based problem.