Thanks for the responses. This thread helps me work through my position here. It's important that I let go of these expectations, take things as they come. Wishing things were otherwise just creates stasis.
One good prayer a sponsor gave me (before he suddenly dropped off, as if he had never sent me dozens and dozens of texts and become sort of friends with me to begin with) is 'I wish you all the blessings in your life I'd wish for myself in my own.' I find it useful, kind of preserves a parity by acknowledging a two way street. I wish you blessings, and integral to that wish is me preserving the integrity of deserving the same blessings and respect. It makes it easier to forgive people I think and move on.
I wish all the blessings I'd wish upon myself to the people of AA. At the end of the day, although at times ubiquitous, they aren't really involved in my life beyond the structure of a peculiar and mostly munificent program. And so it's time for me to stop actively wishing for their friendship. It's only me here, carrying myself forward through the darkness with a lantern kindled by my own intuition.