Thanks for the responses. Sometimes it seems ridiculous though. I could get into specific examples, and yeah, I've been very proactive, or at least relatively. I don't just sit there, inward drawn. Yes, sponsors, yes, after meeting cafes.
In any event, I'm brushing my shoulder off, not going to put myself out there anymore in this capacity. It's true, at least for me it's easier to form friendships with people outside of AA. They seem a little less...high maintenance. Maybe it's because alcoholics are inherently more selfish, as in, they keep the self to the self and it makes them miserable. It's everything or nothing. Total marriage or isolation. Maybe that's why I mention the gender thing. I know it's not true for everyone, but it seems like the women in the meetings are a little more casual with each other. Like it's not a zero sum game between weirdness and wife hunting.
Anyhow.